She Needed Him
by petrovaperfection
Summary: Tommy and Jude have gotten into another fight. Tommy realizes how stupid he's been for letting Jude slip through his hands and decides he needs to make things right.


Did everyone get angry like this, or was he the only one? Every time something happened, he just had to explode. Why? What would his anger do? How would this make things better? It wouldn't. He knew that, but he couldn't help it. Was he the only one that walked away while fighting? Was he the only one that made the best women in the world cry her eyes out? Of course he was because he was the only one who had her. _Her._ Jude. _His_ Jude. Of course he was the usual idiot. They had gotten in a fight, _again_. This time they were fighting about… What_ had_ they been fighting about? The house? No, that was last week. The music? No, that was the one thing they didn't fight about. Oh, right. The alcohol. No, he wasn't an alcoholic; he just liked it a lot. He never hurt her, or drove when he was drinking. No, he just did it a lot. He drank. He drank his sorrows away on days like this. So where was he? After a fight about the bar, of course he would go to the bar. He mentally slapped himself in the face for being so stupid. He paid his bill, quite a small one (it was still early in the night), and pushed his way out of the bar. He decided he would be done with it. He needed to make things right. _They_ needed to make things right.

Now, Tommy was no saint, but Jude wasn't an angel either. They were both human, and they both had their problems. However, Tommy could admit, he was the problem most of the time. Jude knew how to get her feelings out, she sang. Tommy, he didn't have that same luxury. He hadn't written songs since Frozen, except the ones he wrote with Jude. Which he did, he still wrote with Jude. However, those were usually happy songs. Songs about their love, those were the songs they wrote together.

Their relationship wasn't as bad as it sounded. It really wasn't. It was just that, at times like these, this was when it _did_ sound bad, when they fought. It didn't used to happen as much, maybe once a month. However, the older they got, Jude twenty-one and Tommy twenty-eight, the more it happened. The older they got, the more serious they got. The more problems that came with things like bills, possessions, money, and choices. The choices they had to make as a _couple_. The latest one – they had to choose their house. Finding the house proved to be easy; moving in, however, was not.

He loved her though, nothing would change that. And even now, as they fought, he couldn't help but smile when her name came through his mind_. Jude._ He got in his car and made his way home. He'd make this right. And not for the day, but for forever. Because he loved her, he loved her for forever.

After Jude left for London three years ago, Tommy had gone after her. She didn't know it at the time, but Tommy had gone to London to watch over her. He watched her as she slowly became someone he didn't know; someone _she_ didn't know. Drinking, doing drugs, and having sex—it became her norm. Of course she did it all under the radar, none of her fans found out, but it wasn't until one day when she called him that he came out of hiding. She'd been drunk, drunk as a skunk as they say it. He could barely understand her: barely. She began crying through the phone. All she could say was how sorry she was. She'd left him for a life that was far less enjoyable. There was nothing in London for her. London meant nothing. Sure, she had money and fame, but fame and money is futile when there's no one to share it with. And every time she went to her huge apartment, even after three years, she could only think of Tommy. Little Tommy Q, he was the person who changed her whole life. He was the only person who really knew her. She couldn't go one without him anymore. She couldn't be strong like she thought she could be. She couldn't be anything without him. She hated it, but she was done fighting it. She needed Tommy.

She needed him.

She cried and told Tommy that she needed him, and she told him that she couldn't do this anymore. Tommy told her he'd be there in the morning. She, being drunk, believed that he would just take a flight, but the next morning he told her what he'd done. She was angry at first, for about two minutes, but then she realized he'd been there for her when no one had been, even if she didn't know it. He had been watching out for her, making sure she didn't do anything _too_ crazy. It only made her miss and love him more. And she did, she loved him.

So she came home with him, and they started a life together. They were back at G Major, Tommy as a producer and Vice President and Jude as an artist and producer. That, however, was where the happy- go- lucky relationship ended. Coming back to Toronto proved to be harder than she thought it would be. Toronto brought so many more problems too, even though it wasn't as hard because she had Tommy. In Toronto there was Spiderman, Karma, Sadie and worst of all – Jamie. She didn't have feelings for him anymore, but seeing Jamie, her former best friend, married to her other former best friend Kat was heartbreaking. Not only to know that he'd moved on, he had gotten married and neither of his best friends had thought to tell her.

The one thing that had been better about coming back to Toronto was that she had Tommy. Before she went to London, she and Tommy's relationship was amateur. They didn't talk about things enough; they'd just been happy. Happiness was enough, wasn't it? No, it wasn't. They had to actually have a relationship to be in a relationship. When she came back to Toronto that's what happened. She and Tommy spent all their time getting to know each other better than they ever had before. The great thing was that even now they still did this.

They never forgot that the foundation of their relationship was their friendship, the one they'd had long before London, her 3rd album, and even long before her 1st tour. She'd never had a better friend than Tommy: not even Jamie. Having a best friend didn't mean you didn't fight though.

And that's where the story starts.

He'd been at the bar for two hours with Kwest and Chaz. He'd gotten as close to wasted as you could without being wasted. Tommy stood firm on the fact that he never got drunk. He wouldn't fall back into his horrible habits from his boy band days. He'd promised Jude he'd be home by eleven, but here she was in the living room of their home: at one in the morning. Usually she'd be okay if he was a little late, but he was two hours late. She hated that it mattered so much to her that he was gone. She'd tried to go to bed and forget about it. He'd be home in the morning, she knew that, but as she got into her bed and laid there in silence she realized she couldn't sleep without him next to her. And that's when she got angry. It wasn't because he was late; no it was because she was still so dependent on him. Was he dependent on her? It didn't seem like it. She hated being dependent though. That's why she'd gone to London. She thought she would have gotten over it after she came back, but she still had little moments when she hated herself for needing him, even though she loved him.

When he finally graced her with his presence she'd been livid – with herself though, not with him. She didn't' tell him that however. She exploded at him for being late.

"Jude, it's Saturday! Why do I even need to be home at eleven? I don't have a freaking curfew!"

"You told me you'd be home!"

"I know, but I was having a good time," his words slurred every now and then.

"Unlike you do with me, right?"

He sighed, of course he'd gotten himself in trouble now, "That's not how I meant it, Jude, and you know that."

"Really? Do I? We don't hang out anymore Tommy! We don't go on dates."

"Jude, we live together. We see each other every day; we work together. There's rarely a time when I'm not seeing you."

"All you do is drink, Tommy. You drink and it takes away from us! It's wasting our money, taking away from our relationship, and it's ruining us."

"No! It's not. You're letting it ruin us when you get in a fight with me about it!"

"So now it's my fault?"

He sighed again. Was he just digging himself a grave? Yes. He was. "I'm not the one going to bars all the time, Tommy."

It was true. He didn't really have a response. He was the one wasting their money on beer. She was the one staying home writing songs and making them a living.

But Tommy was a man. He was a man who wouldn't admit to his flaws –at the time. So he'd left.

And that's where he was now. After going to the bar and realized what an idiot he was, he was now trying to make things right. As he drove, he thought. All of the memories of him and Jude floated through his brain. The good times and the bad, he'd only left her once. He'd regretted it, even if he'd left to help his mom. He'd never leave her again though. And he never wanted to hurt her again.

He made it to their house. White picket fence, blue shutters, perfect garden—it was all the things they'd chosen together, the things they wanted. Even though they weren't married, he'd wanted to ask her again since they'd gotten back. He'd never had the guts though, especially after what happened last time her asked. They seemed to act like a married couple, he'd admit, but there was one thing her couldn't stand: the empty spot on her left finger.

He believed with all his heart that he was the only person that could take care of Jude the way she needed to be taken care of. So why weren't they married? He didn't have a reasonable explanation other than fear.

He parked his car in their garage and got out. He walked slowly to the door, trying to gather the things he would say. Each step he felt himself sober a little bit more. Realization dawned on him again and again. Was this a first? Was he really apologizing? It seemed liked a first.

He got inside and saw the light seep in from the crack door in their bedroom. He walked towards the light and lightly called her name, "Jude."

He smiled as her name graced his lips. He loved the sound of her name. He heard her puff, an annoyed sound. He laughed lightly. "Jude, can we talk?"

"Talk or fight?" She said, not showing herself.

He began up the flight of stairs and answered, "Talk."

"Fine, but you better not walk out this time."

He sighed; she was still angry – really angry.

"I don't want to fight," His voice was clear and distinct, no longer slurred, "I want to apologize."

"Well, you should." She hated how malicious she was being. She could already hear from his voice that he was sorry. How was she supposed to tell him that she was never even mad at him though? That she'd really been mad at herself: again.

"I know, but I want to apologize for so much more than just that one fight. Jude," He reached the bed where she was sitting and sat next to her, "I want to apologize for every wrong thing I've ever done to you. I hate that I've hurt you pretty much since I've met you. I hate that I ruined your sixteenth birthday right after making it good," He chuckled.

"Someone's cocky," she let a small smile come on her face.

"You words, not mine. I hate that I ruined your seventeenth birthday, and then made it the best one ever. I hate that I ruined your eighteenth birthday right after we became a couple. I really hate that I missed your nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty- first birthdays, especially the latter. We could have gone to a bar together."

"I did too much of that, you should have been the one taking me away from it."

Her comment was true, but he ignored it and continued. "I hate that we fight. I'm sorry that I drink as much as I did. I really didn't mean to be home so late, I completely lost track of time. I don't want you to have to worry about me. I don't want you to have to get angry at me."

With every passing word Jude's guilt rose.

"I wasn't mad at you!" She interjected.

He looked at her confused.

"I was mad at myself," she sighed, "I hated that, at eleven thirty when you didn't come home, I tried to go to bed and couldn't. I couldn't sleep without you by my side."

A smile came upon his face. He couldn't sleep without her either. He felt empty.

"I hate it that even now, I am still so dependent on you."

His smile dropped. They weren't having this conversation again were they? She wasn't going to leave him this time, was she?

She noticed as his smile dropped and she felt a tear spring to her eye. She hated herself for making him unhappy. She took his face in her hands as her tears fell out. "I love you, Tommy. I do."

"But?"

"But I hate that I need you. I want to want you. I don't want to need you."

"I know."

"But I do. I need you. I can't help it."

He reached for her face to wipe her tears. His thumb wiped at her cheeks. He kissed her lightly.

"I'm sorry."

She smiled. "I don't want you to ever leave me though."

And that's what made his smile reach his eyes. She never wanted him to leave. She wanted him for forever. "I love you." He said.

She kissed him, "I love you too Lil' Tommy Q."

He laughed lightly, "Only you."


End file.
